my world..

it was a pretty much eventful trip from the
philippines, to hongkong, and finally, to london.

goodbyes or rather, "see you laters" was
exchanged at the airport. i felt like my legs were
rubberized as i walk away from my family and
friends. and john.

missing our connecting flight to london was really
the highlight of my trip. luckily, there’s another
flight leaving for london an hour later with the same
airline we were flying, so whew, we were safe. let
me tell you that encountering two drunks on our
way, one on the hongkong flight and the other one
at the smoking lounge at hongkong airport was not
an encounter to behold. flight was smooth all
through out. food was bad, but hey, since when
airline food became gourmet?

im now here in london in one piece. its not a
dreary and rainy place like i had thought it would
be. its actually quite pleasant, sunny and warm.
kinda like los angeles weather.

thank you so much for all the good memories we
had shared. i hope to keep in touch with all of you.
my globe number is still on, and you can message
me there for only 1 peso. or there’s always ym and
hotmail. or emails for that matter. or this friendster.

i love you all. i miss you guys so much.

ps
i’ll be back hopefully soon. hehe

i hate a lot of things..not just things you know. i also hate some people. hate is a pretty strong word.. isn’t it? but then again, if you don’t feel hate or abhor anything..how can you appreciate something? it all boils down to two things isn’t it? hate and love. love and hate. two distinct feelings. perfect opposites.

having a feeling towards something..or someone, be it love or hatred, indicates that you care, or have, to some degree, concern. and i hate it. i hate feeling something for anyone whom i hate. (geez, if i’ll gain a dollar for every "hate" word, i’ll be rich..)

i’ve told myself, over and over..how indifferent i am to things that doesn’t concern me. but, im also human. i have feelings… to feel total apathy is inhuman..

it makes perfect sense isn’t it? if you can’t love, you can’t hate..if you can’t hate, you can’t love. life’s irony. and all i want to do is to stop having feelings for anyone or anything that i absolutely loathed.

Two souls,
Cast from the same mold.
Brought together by fate’s own hand,
to travel another journey to a distant land.
Hand in hand, we will be
For I know, this was meant for you and me.

My heart is overflowing,
with love so pure and true.
Sometimes, it’s hard to endure
The lonely days and dark cold nights
Waiting, for my everlasting knight.
Someday soon, I know we will be,
together forever…until the end of eternity.

How do I describe
What it is that I can’t see,
Something so incredibly intense
This pain that washes over me.

This burning pain a fire of hell
I lay me down to die,
Alone in a broken empty shell
In eternal solitude I cry.

I looked to the sky it was grey
but I heard a soft whisper
that told me it’d be okay

when there wasn’t a single star
and I felt my hopes fall
a soft whisper
told me you werent that far

When all I could hear was the painful beating of my heart
and I cried my last tear
a soft whisper told me that you were very near

as I lay alone in my bed
while looking up above
and my heart is aching with loneliness
a soft whisper told me
I am here always , my love

Everyone wants to be liked, taken care of, and loved. We all have dreams of being swept away on our feet and being carried to a place where we would live happily ever after.

I used to scoff at the notion of love at first sight… or having strong feelings for someone whom I just met. Don’t get me wrong, I’m also a true romantic at heart, and I also dream of finding my prince charming. Never thought I would meet him now… at such a young age.

A tumultuous summer I had… I won’t discuss here everything that has transpired, lest I bore you, but what I can say is this: I learned a lot. I’ve become more mature and responsible, and that I can prove to myself, and to everyone else, that I’m strong. Somehow.

Back to what I was saying before (I’m such a drama queen!), I’ve finally met my match. The person who makes my heart beat every time I hear his voice, causes the butterflies in my stomach to flutter whenever I see him, the reason that I’m wearing a silly grin whenever thoughts of him permeate my mind. Nevertheless, like all fairy tales, this would soon come to an end. The bubble would soon burst, and all will be left are memories that would last for a lifetime.

Only time will tell if this is meant to be. As of now, we have our goals to reach… “To be, or not to be…” 

And because I love him, I have to let him go. I don’t want to be a hindrance to his dreams and aspirations. If he comes back, sooner rather than later, then, we would know… that everything is meant to be.   

ok.. this is my first time to try this.. =D writting up my feelings down, or rather, in this case, typing it..

why is it that people often complain that they’re so..busy and haggard, wishing that they have tons of time to waste? then when they do get the break that they deserve, they complain that they’re bored and they long to do something, or would give up anything just to have something to do… well, im one of those people. i used to complain ALL the time that im so busy, i don’t have time to do this, that, blahblahblah.. and now, that i have all the time to waste,   i find it hard to adjust.. =D i think the rationale behind this is that, we become accustomed into doing multiple tasks at the same time to the point that it practically becomes a routine..and the sudden stop of it becomes a shock, because we are not used to having nothing to do..

a bit melodramatic, don’t you think? hahaha..

Number 1

Your Life Path is is characterized by individualist desires, independence, and the need for personal attainment.
The purpose to be fulfilled on this Life Path is that of becoming independent.
This is a two part learning process; first, you must learn to stand on your own two feet and learn not to depend on others. After you are indeed free and independent, you must learn to be a leader.

Many of our generals, corporate leaders, and political leaders are men and women having the Life Path number 1.
You always have the potential for greatness as a leader, and you may fail as a follower.
Many 1’s spend most of their lives shaking off their dependent side.
When this happens, there is little time left for enjoying the rewards to be gained through independence.
You may have to overcome an environment in which it is very easy to be dependent - and difficult to be independent.

You have an abundance or creative inspiration - and possess the enthusiasm and drive to accomplish a great deal.
Your drive and potential for action comes directly from the enormous depth of strength you have/
This includes both the physical and inner varieties of strength.
With this strength comes utter determination and the capability to lead.
As a natural leader you have a flair for taking charge of any situation.

Highly original, you may have talents as an inventor or innovator of some sort.
In any work that you choose, your independent attitude can show through.
You have very strong personal needs and desires, and you feel it is always necessary to follow your own convictions.
You are ambitious, and either understand or must learn the need for aggressive action to promote yourself.
Although you may hide the fact for social reasons, you are highly self-centered and demand to have your way in most circumstances.

If you are not fully developed, you may express the negative side of your number.
That means your demeanor may appear very dependent rather than independent.
If this is the case, you are likely to be very dissatisfied with your circumstances and long for self-sufficiency.
On the strong side of this negative curve, the 1 energy can become too self-serving, selfish and egotistical. Over-confidence and impatience are the weak side of your Life Path.

i’m not perfect.

i’m only human

i make mistakes…

i shouldn’t feel this

but i do.

it just show my being a mortal being too.

my cool and glacial front thawed

making me feel vulnerable and soft.

tearless gaze looks upon a reflection

of someone chastened

by reality i just stumbled upon.

patiently waiting

with meaningless apologies

while slipping on

my icy mask

hiding my fragile self.